Showing up for yourself means differently to different people but it is imperative that you do, every now and then. Oftentimes, we are driven by motivations for the welfare of the people around us - parents, kids, and even our friends. And while it’s all good, sometimes putting yourself first is the right thing to do.     

It doesn’t make you any less of a person if every now and then your number one is yourself. And no, that doesn’t make you a selfish person either. Showing up for yourself means putting your needs first - it can be for growth, peace of mind, or simply for self-gratification.

Setting boundaries

You need to establish clear boundaries with others to protect your time, energy, and personal space. “No” is a complete sentence so learn to say "no" when necessary and communicate your needs and your limits assertively.  Respecting your own boundaries shows self-respect and helps prevent burnout and resentment.

Prioritizing your goals

You need to identify what truly matters to you and set meaningful goals. Break them down into actionable steps and create a plan to achieve them. Regularly evaluate your progress and make adjustments if it’s necessary. By focusing on your goals, you can create a sense of purpose and fulfillment in your life.

Recently, I set aside time to look at my financial goals every Saturday morning. I wrote down my goals, something small for the next 12 months. I gathered data from my insurance, to investments to retirement to what I am spending on. Just 2 hours and I picked a small topic to chip away. This realigns my energy, that I'm spending time to tighten my hold on, to being better with money instead of just lying in and reading the news which is frankly useless to my development.

Surrounding yourself with positive influences

It may be easier said than done but cut ties when the relationship does not make sense anymore. Seek out relationships and connections that support you and contribute to your growth as a person. Surround yourself with people who inspire and motivate you, and limit your exposure to negative influences or toxic relationships that drain your energy and self-esteem. It’s okay to outgrow people and relationships.

When you make room for positive relationships, you automatically have less time for negative people. Check out Master your Emotions by Thibaut Meurisse - alot of practical advice on what to do to overcome negativity.

Continuous learning and growth

Cultivate your love for lifelong learning to expand your knowledge, skills, and perspectives. Take up new challenges, explore your interests, and step out of your comfort zone. Embrace growth opportunities and view setbacks as learning experiences that contribute to your personal development. Keeping in mind that it’s always a lesson, never a failure.

Self-care is also productive

Prioritize activities that nourish your body, mind, and soul. This could include exercising regularly, eating healthy, getting enough sleep, practicing mindfulness or meditation, pursuing hobbies you enjoy, and setting aside time for relaxation and self-reflection. Regularly check in with yourself and reflect on your thoughts, emotions, and experiences. Journaling, meditation, or engaging in therapy can help you gain insights into your inner world and promote self-awareness. Understand your values, strengths, and areas for improvement, and make conscious choices that align with your authentic self. 

Altruism is always a good thing so be there for others but do not leave yourself behind. Remember, showing up for yourself is an ongoing process that requires consistent effort and self-awareness. It's about making yourself a priority and taking deliberate actions that contribute to your overall well-being and happiness.